Life is a Journey, Not a Destination....Here is Mine

Dear Diary

Today is the offical day that I will start over for the last time. I have a bracelet on my right ankle that I dipped into the holy water at church. It will stay on my ankle now and forever to remind me that God has given my this once chance at life and I must not waste it. That also includes my healthy lifestyle that I need. I have also included Lucas Grabeel (also a health freak) with Carrie Underwood as my idols.

I'm in a hurry to go visit my grandma at the hospital, so I better make it quick!

I am to reflect on what characteric that I want to improve on so that I can stand a witness to God. I am choosing to speak up more. I am quiet, but I also love to talk to others. So from now on, I'm going to do a little more talking. Not to take over the conversation, because I also love listening to others. But just so others know I am there.

Okay got to eat and run!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

I just LUV my marathon weekends! This is my 8th or 9th one in a row!

Today I am to reflect on intregerty and how to develop it. I'm not even sure what it is. I have always thought it was keep going, keep try, never give up, etc. But in the dictionary, it said being honstest. I have always tried to be honest and tell other my thoughts. I would never do anything that I would regret and have to lie about. I would be embrassed at the most and that is only a few things like any other person. So I guess I would ask God to help keep me this way.

I hope you don't think that I'm full of myself by having entries like this that say, I'm already this and I already done that. I hate talking about myself because I don't what others to focus on me. I would rather focus on them.

Welp, I have been majoring slipping again. Not only the diet, but other bad habits that I thought I once broke came back. So I'll just give myself a break, not be hard on myself, and start it up again.

GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

I really shouldn't sleep, I get so much done. When I go to bed, that is when I get tired haha.

Today I am to reflect on those in Mormon history who had integery and reflect on my own exsperience. First of all I don't have a Book of Mormon to read properly, and I don't have time to read do all the readings. But I do have knowledge of Joseph Smith, the founder. I would of imgiane that it would be hard to tell someone about your vision of God and Jesus appearing to you and try to get everyone to beleive you. Joseph Smith must of really beleive in himself and what he saw. God must of saw something really speical that no other person has to start a new relgion. Then when other disagree with him Joseph Smith kept going.

I try really hard to do the same. The best two examples I can think of is when I stood up for a friend after my roomate was making fun of her. My roomate got the impression that I was also making fun of her. Then when I stood up for her, she thought differently.

Another time was when I stood up for Black one time when my sister was really being mean. Sure, I make jokes like any other person. But when someone is down right mean, I will not take it. I got made fun of for it, but I stood my ground, Now, no one dares talk like that in front of me.

Both times were difficult, but they needed to be done. I needed to have the courage to get it done, otherwise I would feel bad.

Well I need to get ready for the day...and wake up some more.

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

My grandma is not doing so hot, she is being transfered to Toledo so one of her personal doctor can keep an eye on her. My mom and grandma are both in good spirites so I guess their okay with it. I just have a feeling that this could be the start of her last days.

Anyways, I am ask to reflect on some things to improve on. In the list I was given, I think I do very well on of it,

Here is the list:
This could include avoiding gossip; avoiding inappropriate
jokes, swearing and profanity, and being
light-minded about sacred subjects; being completely
truthful; being morally clean; and being honest,
dependable, and trustworthy in your schoolwork and
other activities. Pray daily for the Holy Ghost to help
you live with integrity.

Based on the last entry, I think I can work on graititued, family and health. It's hard to realize how lucky I am when my life is always stressful, but I am trying. Since my grandma has been having problems, I have been more faithful to my family. The issue with my family is that I feel like they don't let me in, help them, and get to know the true me. I am seeing some postive changes in this. Finally, health which is up and down as always.

Speaking of health, it's time to go exercise!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

My grandma fell today and got injured. She has all kinds of bruses on her and injured her shoulder. My mom is taking care of right now while my dad and I are waiting for supper.

In the mean time, I am going to write to you about today's topic. I am to read the standards of youth and write my thoughts on it. By tpoic, here they are:

Accountability-yes

Gratitued-yes for the most part. However I do get stressed a lot and I forget how lucky I am. So at stressful times, I will have to learn how to keep my head high

Education-yes

Family-yes, but I do but heads with them, so I am trying to let them in more and have them understand why I do the things I do.

Friends-yes

Dress-yes, but I am still debating on what do the for the summer with my new body

Media-really changing without really trying. It is really starting to become wholesome vs. my riotant (sp?) sense of humor

Music-yes

Language-yes

Dating-not really an issue :0(

Sex-see above

Rependt-still thinking about that one

Honesty-yes

Sabbath-yes!!! Gotta have it!

Offerings-Still thinking about that

Health-trying and in process

Service-Yes, I need to get back to that somehow

Going forward with my faith-for sure! I will always be a student because I will never know everything and stop learning.

I weighed in today and I lost 1 pound, making my total 55 pounds. I'm going to cut out sweets all together the best I can and see where it takes me. I have to lose 12 pounds per month to be done on time. On a scale of 1-10, I would be a 9 or even a 10! I worked hard today!

Okay, I think my food is done.

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

Today is another Fast Sunday in hopes that my dad is able to get a job. I was a little bad for my one meal-I had pie and m and m's. All well, it was going to be only meal of the day.

I'm a little nervous about weighing in tomarrow with all my X days. Starting tomarrow, I am no longer allowing anymore X days. They are just lazy excuses that I don't need. I need to be focus and have faith in myself. I can't wait until mid-night where I can eat again!

Today, I really need to make a list of things I still have to learn. Another one I need to add is first aid and CPR. Out of all the project I have a choice from, I am learning this for family emergency situations. Besides that, I have to learn budgeting(in process), clothing repair, and now this. I have a "Life Book" with different chapters on how I want to run my futrue. There is a chapter on what to do for my family, my kids, and father/daughter songs for when (and if) I get married. So it looks like I need to start a new chapter.

Man, am I hungry!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

GAH! It's raining. I just want to get my puppies out for a walk, but all well. What can you do!

Today, I am to invite someone to a missionary meeting and welcome them to the church, introduce to others, etc. I think since I'm not tach. Mormon, I'll just make sure that all members of my church are welcomed. I'll be extra friendly to those I don't know and if anyone has left the church, I would try my best to get them back invovled.

Today is the day I'm going to get back on my feet. I am nervous about my weigh in because I have had so many days that I say "oh forget!" and eat whatever I want and skip exercsing. So today is I am less talk and more action. Plus it's Carrie Underwood's brithday. She is my idol and I swear that if I lose the weight, I would like just like her.

All righty-let's get it started!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

The last few days have just been blah. I have had such a headache the last few days, I go and take a couple hour nap to relieve it. This then results in....yep, you guess it. Gotta start over. GAH! But instead of winning on here, I'm actually going to do something about it.

It's funny because as I get closer to the end of these type of entries, I am getting tired of the Mormon stuff and am now intrested in Baptist. I think I just get bored with relgions once I exhaust everything I can about them.

Well, today I am to do community service for 3 hours abd record my thoughts. I have been trying to get back to doing community service like I have since I was 13, but I just can't get my knitch. I tried the Red Cross and I never got an answer back from them. Plus there really isn't anything around this area to help with. So I think I'll just help with speical events (example: wraping presents for non-profits around Christmas)

Now off to enjoy my apple crisp for my "yeah it's Friday!" snack.

And hhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee we go!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

I have GOT to think of better titles for these entries.

Well, I am skipping on entry because there is no way I can do it. I am required to teach a lesson from to gospel to a family home evening session. Since I am not Mormon, I can't do this.

So for today, I am asked to read a few bible verses and see how I can enforce it onto my family with doing good deeds. I have been volunteering since I was 13 and I still plan to continue it. So by the time I get a family...if it happens, I will lead my children by example. I would want the whole family to help in charity work together as a family 2 times a month.

Well, my scheule is out of wack so I'm going to get back on track.

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

I have been feeling that my family has gotten more annyoded with me the more that I have been speaking up. I was so quiet before around my family and now that I am speaking up, I feel like they are getting a annyoed with me and my thoughts. Well as some country says "its better to be hated for who are you then something your not." My mom and dad are ib Toledo and I ask NOT to go so that we can get a break from each other. I actually had a really nice day just having the house to myself and getting things done that I think need to get done. I just wish that my family understood me and I could fit in. They say that I am too senstive. Well, this leads me into today's entry.

I am to reflect on three ways to help others burdens. One is being sensitive to their needs. I can't stand to see someone hurt, and I like to know how someone is feeling in a time of stress. So for me, being sensitive is a must! I need to understand their emotions in order to help their pain. I could also just listen and talk some. I would say listen 75% and talk 25%. I think most people just need to vent and get it off their chest in a healthy way. Plus, if one keeps it bottled up, terrible things could happen. I would also say talk 25% for 2 reasons. One is so you are letting them know that you are listen and processing what they are telling you. Also to avoid giving advice unless they ask for it. You do not live in their shoes 24/7 so it would be hard to say what you think is best for them. My last suggestion is to help in anyway you can, even when you are not asked. Sometimes a little bit of love can go a long way.

Now onto the progress report of my makeover that has been going on for 9 months. Ever since Thurs, life has gone down hill. As a result of it, I have been over eating and being lazy. I am trying so hard to get back in order the best way I can. I just wish that I can master when stress comes my way not to go back to bad habits.

Okay hhhhheeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeee we go again!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

Okay so I have been observing how others are kind to others and do good deeds. Well this week was all at work. I noticed that one teacher that I work with takes time out to talk to a student that does not get a lot of attention at home. So I have been trying to do the same for her, as well as all the other kids in the class. Plus, when my own student got to be too intensed for me my co-workers stepped in to help. Yeasterday got to be too much to the point that I cried. Yeasterday was filled with hugs and today I got total sympathy. I just hate crying in front of others and getting attention. However, it was at the right level for me. I just luv how all the teachers ban together and work together in bad situations like the one I was in.

Another thing I was suppose to help preapre a meal for my family every night this week. In high school, it was required of me to do so sinc emy mom's work changed a little. Plus I cook when I have a week day off. I luv doing it and I luv taking care of others like that.

Okay, off to enjoy the weekend!

Stay Sweet!
Steph:0)

Dear Diary,

So today's challenge will take 2 weeks before I get back to you. I am to observe other's good deeds, complement them on it and reflect on it.

But I will say something else-in addtion of me trying to lose 10 pounds per week to only have junk food on Fridays and only one time.

Okay, I just thats all! I'll keep you updated on my observations!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

SO now to wrap up this chapter of this Mormon project I am doing, I will learn how to make alterrations to clothes. Since I keep getting skinnier, it makes since that I learn how to take my clothes in instead of having my mom do it. Just for the time being, until I am happy with my size and I get get new clothes. :0)

I just want to state how lucky I am. Just yeasterday I heard about the natural distards in Chile, Haiwaii and I'm sure still Hati. Plus I heard that Marie Osmond's son killed himself because he doesn't fit in and he has no friends. It made me realize how lucky I am and I should thank God for the blessings that He has given me!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

Today I am to refelct on my budgeting and live on a budget for 3 months. I am currently read a Suze Orman book on Women and money. After that, one for young adults. In the one that I am reading, there is a chapter when she gives you a step, by step plan. So I'm going to try that out and see how it goes.

Since I live at home, I have been saving a lot of money. I feel bad though because I know that they don't have a lot of money with my dad still being laid off. But as I said before, I feel like I am needed at home right now, and now is not the time to be thinking about moving out. I just don't feel ready yet. Maybe one day, I will.

I do a lot for my parents and I try to help my family and friends as much as I can. So because of that, I get $40 buck out a week and the rest stays in saving. $20 is for gas and $20 is got other stuff.

Once I get into Suze's program, I will let you know how its going.

Oh-btw-So far so good on controling the snacking :0)

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

So I was thinking about my weight loss and the journey I have yet to complete. I have decided to aim for 10 pound for the next 5 months. That will then put me at 143 and a total of 104 pounds down. I know I wanted to be done on June 15, but I think this makes more sense and is realistic. Plus on July 27th, I was going to declare it a "Me Day". So I would have lost the weight just in time for that. Me Day is in July because it is my favorite month and 27 is my favorite/lucky number. Then on that day, I will get my favorite ice-cream to celebrate me and all that I have been thru the past year: Strawberry Cheesecake Blizzard at DQ (all 550 calories of it!)

I hope this works!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

For today's thoughts, I have no clue. I was to study the Young Women's theme and figure out a way that I can stay true to it. I think just to ask God for help when I am in need is all I can think of. I have been getting out a lot of this program that I am unoffically doing. I am 95% sure that all these lessons will stick with me no matter what. I becuase of this feeling that I have, I think I will have no problem stick to these promise. Everything about these elements come so natural to me.

Welp, I guess that's all-plain and simple.

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

I'm having another X day. I have not been feeling the greatest and trying my hardest due to PMS. I can't control it and mother nature. So I know I have now said this a billion times, but I really want to keep trying harder to get my 110%. I hate when stuff like this happens and I can't help but break down. I know I will never be perfect, but I really want to give it all that I got, and at times like these-I just can't! Then I feel like a failure.

Well, if I was about to stay away from sweets for 24 hour to honor God, I think I can do it again, and again, and again until I get it right!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

My praying and bible time have gotten a lot better. I am getting into a really good habit of it. As far as the binge eatting, not so much. I know I shouldn't make excuses but three letters will explain it all-P.M.S.

Anyways, I am to reflect on the Holy Ghost. A while back I have found this really good web site about the princples of Mormonism. I read up on the Holy Ghost. It basically says to leave a clean life so the Holy Ghost can become part of your life. Then it can direct you in your life so that you can be part of God's plan for salvation.

I can completely understand this, I often notice that when I am faithful to God I feel really good about myself and good things result from it. Back when I thought I was athiest, good things were going for me but I was feeling hallow. Before I started on this journey, I just went thru the motions of my faith and never really beleived in it. I know that people thought I was, but I really wasn't. At that time of my life, I just did what ever someone told me to do so that I would make everyone happy. Even though I have gotten awards for my actions of my faith, I never really felt like I deserved it. It was really award for me. It could be become of how uncomfortable I was back then versus now. I'm not sure.

Now I am off to settle my sweet tooth!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

So I have not had anything in between meals and no sweets-not even a mint! It was my thanks to God for answering my prayers. It was really hard because I had junk in my face all day today. I will though be eating a sugar cookie at midnight...hehe.

Today my entry is going to be about repenting. Mormons and Catholics do basically the same thing. They confese their sins and take the advice from their leader to make up for their sin. However, mormons believe before you can do that, you must make ammends to the people you have hurt, then God privatily, then repent.

I have always though differently about this. When I sinned, I normally pray about it. If I see that I am wrong, I make things right. This includes saying I'm sorry and doing the right thing. Then I reflect on what has happened and how I can provent it from the time. Today I have been thinking about this. I have not been to confession for years. I am thinking about going to confession this lent to talk to a preist and see what he think about my prespective and compromise for lost time.

Until next time...

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)

Dear Diary,

I have been directly praying to God both the Cahtolic way AND the Mormon way. I fasted (moromon way) so my family finical situation would get better, and it has! We are getting a big check refund from the government and my dad got called in to take a test at a place he applied for. Also, his unemplyment got extended! I also prayed last night that since we got a new computer that the printer would still work since we were unsure that it would be compatiable, and it works!!!

This is so awesome!

So in thanks to God for all that He has done, I will sacrafice any sweets all today tomarrow. I have been really off track today and I think this would be a good way to kill 2 birds with one stone. It can help be back to what I should be doing (I blame upcoming PMS) and giving thanks to God.

Oh and since we have a new computer and all the old stuff got saved, I'll be back writing my Momron writing prompts tomarrow-YEAH!

Stay Sweet!
Steph :0)